Authored and illustrated countless fantastical comic books which were, unbeknownst to their millions of fans, actually autobiographical.
Founded a ghostbusting business that boasted a 97% success rate despite not believing in ghosts.
Worked to pass numerous anti-cannibalism laws at both the state and the federal level.
Reigning multiweek champion on both Jeopardy! and American Gladiators.
Founded a brief, unsuccessful bounty hunting business with Mr. T.
Kept a laudanum-soaked rag inside his cheek at all times.
Killed a hated rival in a pistol duel.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
I like first dates that involve a little walking and a lot of people watching. That way we can make fun of people in case we run out of things to say to each other.