Greetings, females who for some reason can't get a boyfriend who is worth a damn. Welcome to my profile!
In an attempt to attract a suitable mate, I will now summarize the entirety of my personality, my wants, my goals, and my interests within a short, typed essay for your reading pleasure. Given that the average modern adult female has an attention span of 8.3 seconds, I doubt that you've even read this far. If you have, then congratulations on being a weirdo. It's okay, though; it means you are special.
Please continue reading so that you may judge me based on .04% of who I truly am, and hopefully we will meet and enjoy the opportunity to judge each other in person while playing on our phones and taking turns talking about ourselves while the other pretends to listen.
My name is Chris, and I'm confident that I'm unlike anyone you've ever met (if you think you've met someone like me, then pretty please introduce us). I am an agnostic libertarian (this is important). I am very honest and direct. I'm open-minded, I'm a good man, and I live to have fun and try new things. I love animals, the gym, movies, sushi, and gaining new experiences...by trying new things. I dislike television, fast food, coffee, and sunlight. I'm independent (every adult is, but I know that women like to hear this kind of thing because it implies that I won't be constantly smothering them) and I love doing things on my own (except sex), but some things can be better when shared with a partner (such as sex...and f*cking sh*t up).
I'd ideally like to meet an open-minded, patient, intelligent, open-minded, supportive woman who goes to the gym (swolemate, yo!), cooks ("'Dinner ready' is pizza?!"), is open-minded, doesn't lie, and likes to cuddle and watch movies or Netflix during downtime (or go out and drink...whatever). Being a little bit nerdy gets you bonus points (I will quiz you). You must be open-minded or you will bore the sh*t out of me; I can't emphasize this enough. If you are restricted in any way by religion or whatever pre-conceived but irrational notions of morality that you were brain-washed into believing by society or your parents, then don't even bother me.
Note: I don't care about your occupation or income because a job and bank account do not make us who we are, and I refuse to discuss mine because it's not important unless you're materialistic and a golddigger, so don't ask. As a man, I pay for romantic dinners and outings, while you eat food and honor me with your presence. That's all you need to know.
I am open to all things platonic (no sex) and casual (lots of sex), as well as the possibility of a serious and exclusive relationship (monogamous sex). All things considered, I am not asking for much, and I don't want to rush anything (no getting a cat together).
I really just hope to meet someone I have similarities with and can relate to...I hope to meet my match, if only to learn that she exists. I know what I want and what I don't want, so, for very good reasons, I avoid dating anyone to whom any of the following apply:
You hunt or support trophy hunting
You use drugs
You don't have a car
You have children
You think religion is important
You worry about what others think of you
You support Obama, Hillary, or Jeb
You identify yourself as a feminist
You use improper English
You have a weak sex drive
You have an STD
You didn't graduate from high school
You are selfish, disloyal, dishonest, flaky, superficial, immature, or otherwise unreliable
If any apply to you, then that's nothing against you (unless the last one applies, in which case you're probably a bad person or someone I've already dated), but we will not be a good match, so dating you would be a waste of my precious time. If none apply, and if you have a great sense of humor and a fun, playful personality to match my own (meaning we have awesomeness in common), then go ahead and message me.
I don't care what you look like, what college you went to, or what kind of job you have (unless you work to help animals, because that's a turn-on); none of that will impress or intimidate me. I have dated women of all shapes and sizes from all walks of life (you have no idea!), so please have something else to bring to the table, like self-respect and a sense of integrity, or a super power.
Did you actually read this far? Seriously? That is...wow...that's amazing! You deserve a free meal...on me. Message me and I'll tell you what you're hungry for and take you there (I am totally decisive and manly). I still can't believe you've read this far.
Please note that, on PoF, I will not message you first unless we match. If you want my attention, then either favorite me or message me.