This is my favourite thing. Talking about myself.
You won't like me.
But I like me... alot.
I'm a typical man. The kind of man you love to hate. Most men won't tell you how they REALLY are. I however, have no qualms in telling you the truth about us. We're always jackasses, and I know deep down that's something you know and love but hate admitting it. You say you want a real gentleman, a kind caring soul - and we can be. We just do it in different ways.... ways that make us jackasses. But you need to understand that being a jerk is really fun and entertaining. It gives us our unique personality and charm :)
I eat meat because it's delicious. I don't believe in vegetarians - you guys are missing out on some serious good eats.
I'm a man of science. Which means that I believe in logic, reason and rational thinking. Lots of folks have a hard time accepting that. Too bad.
I'm an incredible drunk. Gin is my favourite spirit ever. Can't have enough of that glorious liquid.
I hate hippies. Everything about them makes me sick. Wash your hair and stop humping that tree you freak.
I work hard... and play REALLY hard. I LOVE to party and have a good time. Life's too short to be holed up at home.
I dress up like a douche bag - not because I like it, but because girls like it for some stupid reason.
My taste in music is quite esoteric. I love house music. I love it so much I made a small career out of it. Me and my tech 12's have done some nasty business over the years - made people see colours, call their estranged fathers, find love, etc.
I'm a man of business and making money. This... is the spice of life. This of course means I am a very hard worker. I take my career very seriously and will do anything to propel myself into more lucrative positions. I'm so hard working that I've even impressed the Japanese - who I think are the hardest workers in the world. In the coming years, I plan on going into business for myself. I am quite excited about it and really feel that I will be successful. I think I read up somewhere that money is a powerful aphrodisiac - who would have guessed that money is sexy? I sure as hell didn't. Too bad you won't be seeing any of it. HAH.
I am.. incredibly shallow. Rightfully so. Why? Because everyone is. The real problem is they hate admitting it. Would you ever date an overweight, balding man? Probably not. Plus, a handsome man such as myself must set limits to his partners. Can't be seen with someone that can't match my natural charisma and beguiling nature now, can I?
I'm definitely not looking for a girlfriend. I have several reasons for this:
a) I'm still too young
b) way too handsome
c) I'm not boring enough
d) The single life is waaaaayyyyy too fun
e) most of the people i know who are in relationships are the biggest squares EVER. I am WAY too interesting and handsome for that crap.
SO... hopefully after reading all this I have effectively scared you off. I will be REALLY impressed if you decide to message me after reading this tripe.
I asked my female friends about first dates, and they all unanimously agreed that coffee and a walk is the best..... which is the GAYEST thing i've ever heard. Why the hell would I want to drink something I don't even like much, and do something I do for a living? No. No. NNNNOoooooooooo. I would suggest REAL drinks, but if you have read my profile, that would be a baaaaaad idea.
How about bottled water on a park bench. Like... the park benches by the CAMH on Queen W. Sounds sexy, no?
Secondly... this won't even BE a date. It's going to be the hardest interview of your LIFE is what this is going to be. There will be a Q&A, I will need at least TWO references with people you have been friends with for at least the last 4 years and your post secondary diploma. If you pass, then I shall consider you for friendship. If you fail, I file your resume in my garbage can for future opportunities. :)