BONJOUR! Je m'appelle... whoops, wrong language.
Well good for you! by looking at this profile you have demonstrated that you have excellent taste, either that or I've sent you an amazing message and you just have to see how awesome I am.
However you may have been tricked! for all you know I am really a 3 ton Hippo who has learned to type as part of a freak scientific experiment being conducted at U of W, or a Monkey with an incredible robotic intelligence hat built by a genius professor from the future who owns a shipping company.
Can you discover what the truth is?
If I were advertising on craigslist, this is what I would write:
I'm a well hung, romantically gifted stud searching for a sugar momma who will lavish me with expensive gifts in return for giving her all of the amazing things her husband is too self-centered to make enjoyable for her. Car must be provided up front.